A blog about self-discovery, awareness, and positivity.

Friday, 11 September 2015

Find yourself before you find your other half.

This is a MASSIVE issue in the Asian community. Most Asian ladies grow up 'dreaming' of getting married to their 'perfect' husband and that they will 'live happily ever after'. Let me start by saying there is NO
happy ever after. Marriage is filled with ups and downs, it's almost like being on a roller coaster. Some days will be 'perfect' other's will be not so great so, firstly if you have the illusion of living happily ever after. I'm sorry but it's never going to happen. You will come into disagreements, you both will have different opinions and choices. You're both two different people but that won't stop the good times.

A lot of Asian ladies get married young because, they either have this illusion that 'marriage is everything' or 'they want to find their other half and start their live together'. That is OK, you can do what you desire BUT FIND YOURSELF BEFORE FINDING YOUR OTHER HALF. I can't stress enough how important it is to find yourself before you find your other half. Marriage is a whole life commitment so you have to be sure that that person is 'THE ONE AND NOT ANYONE'.

Why find yourself before finding a partner for marriage you may ask? It's simple, if you don't know your value, what you are like, what your standards/expectations are and what you want to do in life then, how you can get into a life commitment? 

 Let me explain- Imagine there is a line of 20 cars and you want to buy a car OK, you want to buy a really nice car. You're obviously going to do your research and pick the best one suitable for you right? You're not just going to pick one at random without knowing anything about it because you won't know if that car is for you right?
The same thing applies but you have you do research on yourself first and find what YOU like before you start looking for a partner in marriage. I hope that made sense.

You might get to a certain age and say 'yeah I'm ready for marriage' but are you really? I always say that it does not matter how much you prepare yourself you're never going to be ready for marriage because you won't ever know how it feels unless you’re in that position.

Finding yourself is really important. Standing on your own two feet, and being independent is really important. You need to discover yourself. Go out and try new things see what you like and don't. Grab a hold of new opportunities. Meet new people and discover the world while you’re discovering yourself. When you've found yourself then, you can go look for a partner because you will know exactly the type of things you do and don't want in life and, the type of person you want to spend your life with. 

You are the only one who will know what is best for you. 
How can you act upon that and do the best for yourself if you don't know who you are?



  1. Interesting thoughts & lovely sharing, dear. I've been happily married for about 25 yrs & it's all about give & take. Of course, there're ups & downs, but we still enjoy spending time together, finding common hobbies & topics along the way. xoxo

    1. Thank you for your lovely comment Shirley <3! Aww hun! Congratulations on your 25 years & I hope you get to create many more loving memories for years to come :)!

  2. Just popped in from Bloglovin and appreciate your follow hon (just followed back). Wow, what an amazing post. I couldn't agree more with you and what you stand for, girlie. Find yourself before anything else is so important. I actually wrote a little post on marriage (here: http://mielandmint.blogspot.co.uk/2015/08/5-things-i-learned-in-my-first-year-of.html) where I shared the thought of the marriage being an empty box which two people fill together. A lot of girls in my home countries are obsessed with getting married as well, but I am glad that more and more of young girls nowadays want to "find themselves" first. Even though, it is such a blessing to find your special someone :) <3
    Anyway, pop in at my blog any time, girlie ;) Leave comments, say hello and stay as much as you would like.
    xox Nadia

    1. Thank you for taking the time to leave a beautiful comment Nadia (I love your name) <3
      I read your post and left a comment. It was such a beautiful post and you looked beautiful on your wedding day. I love the way you wrote the post. I agree I love how girls are 'finding themselves' however, a lot of girls still don't know which is heartbreaking.
      Much love- xxx

  3. I couldn't agree more. Most of the young Pakistani girls have to have "to get married" as a goal, which makes me wonder about the possible things we could do with our lives before tieing the knot with our significant others. It's really important to know where we stand before sharing it to another person.

    1. I agree hun. I think this topic needs more attention so we all have awareness of the things that happen around us. Thank you for taking the time to comment Noor <3

  4. Mashaa Allah interesting , these are all true. JazakAllah khair for sharing. <3

    By Najmah


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